Shit My Honey Should See

kai-tuju:

3D printing is being used to print organs, prosthetic limbs, and this

October 16, 2009

thisdayinfavrd:

  1. "I like the dog. If he can’t eat it, or fuck it, he pisses on it. I can get behind that."
    @shitmydadsays (Justin) – 120
  2. Just bought a little wedding chapel for my model train set. Someday I’ll get married there and SHUT UP MA YOU DON’T KNOW SHIT
    @fireland (Joshua Allen) – 120
  3. Now hold on. Some guy had a flying saucer balloon or something?

    Bear with me. You see, I’m employed.
    @adamisacson (Adam Isacson) – 107
  4. Schrödinger’s kids eventually stopped asking for new pets.
    @sween (Jason Sweeney) – 91
  5. Nevermore? Man, that’s so raven.
    @aedison (Avery Edison) – 90
  6. As soon as Wolf interviewed Falcon, the ‘balloon boy’ story turned into a Lakota Sioux legend.
    @badbanana (Tim Siedell) – 83
  7. MY WIFE GOT ME PIE I HAVE THE BEST PIE I MEAN WIFE EVER
    @sween (Jason Sweeney) – 76
  8. The worst part of wearing a cape is the toilet.
    @thedayhascome (Josh Hopkins) – 76
  9. For Halloween, I’m going as MJ and Roman Polanski in a saucer balloon made out of health care bills and Rod Blagojevich hair.
    @badbanana (Tim Siedell) – 72
  10. Nobody ever asks if the baby wants to hold me.
    @sween (Jason Sweeney) – 69
  11. "IT WAS HELL," recalled man who went to the bathroom and forgot his iPhone.
    @Moltz (Moltz) – 67
  12. Pop-up windows are the Kanye West of interface.
    @Mike_FTW (Mike Monteiro) – 65
  13. For Halloween I’m going as Twitter. One minute I’ll be in your face talking a mile-a-minute, the next I’ll be aloof and unavailable.
    @joeschmitt (Joe Schmitt) – 64
  14. Today, I broke one of my cardinal rules: Never trust a family with a helium-field experimental aircraft in the backyard.
    @badbanana (Tim Siedell) – 63
  15. Don’t know what you’re staring at, kid. You’ve seen air guitar plenty of times before.

    This is the same.

    Only with bagpipes.

    Dickhead.
    @sniffyjenkins (Justine Kilkerr) – 61
  16. Remember in Pulp Fiction when they open the briefcase and a light washes over them? That just happened to me when Karen lifted her shirt.
    @Moltz (Moltz) – 60
  17. Everyone on this plane is perfectly quiet, but really unattractive. I brought noise-cancelling headphones, but no sight-cancelling glasses.
    @adamisacson (Adam Isacson) – 55
  18. I know it’s no problem. You rang up my orange juice. How could that be a fucking problem? The phrase is “You’re welcome.”

    Sorry. Pet peeve.
    @adamisacson (Adam Isacson) – 53
  19. Every Halloween I eat so much candy that I hallucinate tiny monsters and superheroes at my door trying to trick me into giving them some.
    @Zaius13 (Damn Dirty Ape) – 52
  20. My cat has a booger that makes him honk while he breathes, my other cat is searching for the goose.
    @baileygenine (Bailey Siewert) – 51

#18

#elias is my spirit animal #clerks II